Yoooo the accuracy is just too real
At the end of the semester like..
I want a love that’s water.
I want to look into someone’s eyes and feel the stability and calm of the tides
but then is it too much to ask as well for the wild and rigor of the open sea?
I want a love that’s fire.
I want someone whose kisses sear their longing into my flesh
and I want someone whose words caress my aching scars.
I want a love that’s air.
I want to be tucked away in someone’s arms and feel as free as the wind. I want to be far away from someone and feel like I am caged without them there by my side.
I want our laughs to be lighthearted and loud
and I want our tears to be from the darkness in the pits of our very being.
I want a love that’s earth.
I want someone who grounds me when I can’t find myself.
I want to feel a love that’s so nurturing and beautiful that the flowers have dreams of growing in it.
I want all four elements to combine in our hearts to create a love that’s desirably unstoppable.
- un-disgruntle yourself
- comfort someone
- be comforted
- go to a quiet place
- press a magic button and fix everything
- get a hug
- see something cute
- hear rain noises
- play cute games
- cut something/someone (blood)
- break something
- open a window
- have a guided relaxation
- listen to nature sounds (or here)
- do nothing for 2 minutes
- play the piano
- make cute ecards
- make cool music (ex.)
- get an idea for what to do
- avoid boredom
- watch a dream
- have a stickman adventure
when i say i hate school it doesn’t mean i hate education and knowledge. it means that i hate selfish and ignorant people there. it means that i hate stress and high expectations. it means that i hate being treated like a shit. it fucking means that i hate feeling like a failure all the time.
Tonight I listened to a voicemail you left me three months ago.
In it, you told me to go fuck myself.
I still remember that night.
I still remember those words rolling off your tongue so gracefully.
I remember wondering how someone so beautiful could be so cruel.
Two months ago I called you at three A.M.
I expected you to ignore it, or to send me to voicemail;
those were two of the things you were best at.
You answered and I felt my heart begin to race;
you probably thought it was because I missed you,
but truthfully it was because I didn’t expect you to answer,
and because I really had to pee.
I asked you how you were and you sat there quietly and confused.
It was like you forgot that I existed and that I was once a part of your life.
You told me “fine” and I smiled.
That was the last conversation we had.
I made sure to let go of you, and every negative word that was said, in a peaceful way.
Fast forward two months, and I still wonder how you are.
I still wonder how your dog is and if you’ve seen any good movies lately.
If you ever heard me say this, you’d probably blush like you used to whenever I said something sweet.
You’d probably think I think these things because I still love you, that I still want you.
But that is not the case.
You see, six months ago I was jumping through hoops to please you.
To make sure that you were happy before myself.
To make sure that I was the one causing your happiness.
But it is not six months ago.
It is now.
And now I simply remember you as a person I gave my soul to.
A person I told secrets to at 4am and fucked to feel a sense of closeness.
A person I loved, yes.
But it is not six months ago.
It is now, and now I miss you.
I miss the way you called randomly just to ask how my day was.
I miss the way you seemed to care, even if you didn’t.
I miss the friendship and the secrets and the stories.
And maybe one day things will be different.
Maybe you’ll call me on a Tuesday afternoon and ask how my day was.
These are the things I think about before my eyes slowly close and I am finally rewarded with sleep.
But for right now?
Go fuck yourself.